Dominant and Submissive: A fantasy game or serious lifestyle option?
There is a community-based in the United States called Humbled Females that has many members, if not a majority of members who object to any discussion of Bondage-Discipline-Sadism-Masochism (BDSM) on the basis that they see it as comprising games, developed around fantasies, rather than a legitimate lifestyle that reflects a view on life. Members believe in the Dominant/submissive (D/s) lifestyle and the importance of female subservience.
I do not often agree with the members of this site and find its moderator an unjustifiably opinionated and quasi-intellectual. While he thinks he is intellectual, his comments suggest to me that has an intellect few would crave. That said, I am attracted to the notion that BDSM is about games and D/s is, or at least can be about a lifestyle – and a 24/7 lifestyle at that. Certainly, for me, D/s is a lifestyle, and I live it 24/7. I have a D/s relationship where there are few games, but instead, a serious and consistent approach to a relationship built on a D/s foundation. There is certainly no switching. The Master is always the Master, and the slave is always the slave
While both the BDSM games/fantasy and D/s lifestyle are both legitimate, I have very little appetite for games and a genuine appetite for the power exchange dynamic. I know who I am, and my slave knows who she is. We know our responsibilities and rights and exercise both day in and day out. I enjoy having a slave in the house and have had one for 25 of the last 30 years. While my slave is new to this dynamic and has never been a sub, let alone a slave before, she knows her place and enjoys being in it. She has been with me for two years now and could not imagine ever playing another role. She is a slave!!
Occasionally, we play games, but this is the exception rather than the rule. I do not even like games like Chess and Monopoly and have little more time for more physical games. Few activities occur just for their own sake of pure sexual gratification. The D/s lifestyle is ingrained in every aspect of our lives. Most of our friends are aware of the nature of our relationship and accept it for what it is. Our days are dominated by this lifestyle, and it feeds into all aspects of our day – including our sex life. I take slave ownership very seriously, indeed as does my slave.
I love it and would not have it any other way!!