Everyone has personal values. Which ones match yours?

  • April 17, 2021
  • Mestra

Whether we are consciously aware of them or not, everyone has personal values. The highest priority ones can be identified as personal core values.

Personal values generate behaviour and dictate how we solve problems. Surprisingly, it’s not common practice to identify our personal values, assess them and actively use them to make decisions. Perhaps we should.

Identifying other peoples values also provides answers to the questions of why people do what they do.

Within the BDSM/Kink community:

– Play has the potential to be high risk
– Relationships have the potential to be formed very quickly and very deeply (M/s, O/s)
– There is an increasing call for personal responsibility when entering play and relationships, particularly as an s type or bottom
– There are limited ways in which s types or bottoms can successfully vet potential Dominants/Owners/Tops

For all these reasons, any opportunity to assess a potential play partners values (and therefore behaviour) should be utilised by people who desire safe (PRICK/RACK/SSC) play. Because values dictate behaviour and decision making, they also determine the type of Dominant someone will be.

A persons values can be assessed by:-

– Watching them, their interactions, their play
– Asking about them, asking them questions directly
– Analysing anything they share publicly (writings, comments, photos, group membership, friendship circles)

Determine what values you are looking for in a partner, and what will keep you safe.

Cross posted here on Fetlife

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