HOW OPEN AND HONEST SHOULD A D/S RELATIONSHIP BE?

WHAT IS HONESTY?

Telling the truth?
But it is more complex than that!
Being honest requires you to be:

• Truthful (reactive).
• Transparent (proactive).
• Genuine.
• Sincere.
• Responsible.

Being honest does not however require:

• Aggression.
• Gratuitous opinions.
• Unsubstantiated claims.
• Pretentious behaviour.
• Sharing anything that benefits no-one.

WHEN IS HONESTY IMPORTANT AND WHY?

Honestly is important whenever the absence of truthfulness has the potential to negatively impact anyone, including you:

• Emotionally.
• Psychologically.
• Physically.
• Reputationally.
• Personally.

The absence of truth and transparency causes:

• Diminished trust.
• Diminished empathy.
• Diminished respect.
• Lower intimacy.
• Diminished safety.
• More lies – or more deception.

HOW COMMON IS DISHONESTY?

Lying by commission is common. Lying by omission is very common indeed.

• 69% of adults say they’ve lied to their partners.
• 43% of Australian adults lie on a first date.
• 61% of British adults lie on a first date.
• 72% of British men lie on a first date.
• 42% of men confess they’ve lied about sex.
• 23% of women confess they’ve lied about sex.
• 10% of young adults have lied about STD testing.

Dishonesty about sex – even with a partner is common. A lack of transparency about sex is even more common.

Common areas of dishonesty include:

• Underreporting stigmatized activities.
• Overreporting the normative behaviours.
• When asked who is making sexual decisions
• Women report fewer nonmarital sexual partners
• Men report excessive nonmarital sexual partners

HONESTY IN SEX.

Honesty in sex is important when:

•  Change in libido.
• Desire to try something new.
• Family planning.
• Feelings of sexual rejection or always having to initiate sex.
• Lack of intimacy or need for more affection.
• Lack of sexual satisfaction.
• Sexual dysfunction.

HONESTY IN D/S.

‘’The point of this lesson is that if you want to be in a Successful D/s Relationship, you need to treat HONESTY as SACRED’’

‘’Honesty within a D/s relationship is by far one of the most important aspects of the relationship.  At all times, both the Dominant and the slave/submissive must be honest.  A falsehood can be extremely detrimental to the level of trust.’’

’’It is especially important to understand that the slave/ submissive needs to be open and forthright with her Dominant.  Failing to convey emotions, feelings, frustrations, hurts and concerns can result in a Dominant misunderstanding the true nature of a girl’s needs.’’

• In D/s it is essential to be
• With yourself.
• With your partners.
• With your bottom.
• With your top.

WHEN WE ARE TRUTHFUL AND TRANSPARENT, WE ARE:

• Less likely to be damaged emotionally.
• Less likely to be damaged psychologically.
• Less likely to be damaged physiologically.
• More likely to find happiness.

TIPS FOR BEING HONEST.

Start by being brutally honest with yourself.
And with others …

• Start early
• Start slowly.
• Talk often.
• Establish intimacy.
• Pick a neutral location.
• Avoid post-sex talks.
• Avoid blindsiding your partner.
• Express yourself clearly.
• Open-up about your fantasies.
• Avoid un-necessary surprises.
• Avoid email wherever possible.

SIR D