HOW OPEN AND HONEST SHOULD A D/S RELATIONSHIP BE?

  • November 22, 2022
  • SIR D



WHAT IS HONESTY?

Telling the truth?
But it is more complex than that!
Being honest requires you to be:

  • Truthful (reactive).
  • Transparent (proactive).
  • Genuine.
  • Sincere.
  • Responsible.

Being honest does not however require:

  • Aggression.
  • Gratuitous opinions.
  • Unsubstantiated claims.
  • Pretentious behaviour.
  • Sharing anything that benefits no-one.

WHEN IS HONESTY IMPORTANT AND WHY?

Honestly is important whenever the absence of truthfulness has the potential to negatively impact anyone, including you:

  • Emotionally.
  • Psychologically.
  • Physically.
  • Reputationally.
  • Personally.

The absence of truth and transparency causes:

  • Diminished trust.
  • Diminished empathy.
  • Diminished respect.
  • Lower intimacy.
  • Diminished safety.
  • More lies – or more deception.

HOW COMMON IS DISHONESTY?

Lying by commission is common. Lying by omission is very common indeed.

  • 69% of adults say they’ve lied to their partners.
  • 43% of Australian adults lie on a first date.
  • 61% of British adults lie on a first date.
  • 72% of British men lie on a first date.
  • 42% of men confess they’ve lied about sex.
  • 23% of women confess they’ve lied about sex.
  • 10% of young adults have lied about STD testing.

Dishonesty about sex – even with a partner is common. A lack of transparency about sex is even more common.

Common areas of dishonesty include:

  • Underreporting stigmatized activities.
  • Overreporting the normative behaviours.
  • When asked who is making sexual decisions
  • Women report fewer nonmarital sexual partners
  • Men report excessive nonmarital sexual partners

HONESTY IN SEX.

Honesty in sex is important when:

  •  Change in libido.
  • Desire to try something new.
  • Family planning.
  • Feelings of sexual rejection or always having to initiate sex.
  • Lack of intimacy or need for more affection.
  • Lack of sexual satisfaction.
  • Sexual dysfunction.

HONESTY IN D/S.

‘’The point of this lesson is that if you want to be in a Successful D/s Relationship, you need to treat HONESTY as SACRED’’

‘’Honesty within a D/s relationship is by far one of the most important aspects of the relationship.  At all times, both the Dominant and the slave/submissive must be honest.  A falsehood can be extremely detrimental to the level of trust.’’

’’It is especially important to understand that the slave/ submissive needs to be open and forthright with her Dominant.  Failing to convey emotions, feelings, frustrations, hurts and concerns can result in a Dominant misunderstanding the true nature of a girl’s needs.’’

  • In D/s it is essential to be
  • With yourself.
  • With your partners.
  • With your bottom.
  • With your top.

WHEN WE ARE TRUTHFUL AND TRANSPARENT, WE ARE:

  • Less likely to be damaged emotionally.
  • Less likely to be damaged psychologically.
  • Less likely to be damaged physiologically.
  • More likely to find happiness.

TIPS FOR BEING HONEST.

Start by being brutally honest with yourself.
And with others …

  • Start early
  • Start slowly.
  • Talk often.
  • Establish intimacy.
  • Pick a neutral location.
  • Avoid post-sex talks.
  • Avoid blindsiding your partner.
  • Express yourself clearly.
  • Open-up about your fantasies.
  • Avoid un-necessary surprises.
  • Avoid email wherever possible.

SIR D

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