HOW OPEN AND HONEST SHOULD A D/S RELATIONSHIP BE?
WHAT IS HONESTY?
Telling the truth?
But it is more complex than that!
Being honest requires you to be:
- Truthful (reactive).
- Transparent (proactive).
Being honest does not however require:
- Gratuitous opinions.
- Unsubstantiated claims.
- Pretentious behaviour.
- Sharing anything that benefits no-one.
WHEN IS HONESTY IMPORTANT AND WHY?
Honestly is important whenever the absence of truthfulness has the potential to negatively impact anyone, including you:
The absence of truth and transparency causes:
- Diminished trust.
- Diminished empathy.
- Diminished respect.
- Lower intimacy.
- Diminished safety.
- More lies – or more deception.
HOW COMMON IS DISHONESTY?
Lying by commission is common. Lying by omission is very common indeed.
- 69% of adults say they’ve lied to their partners.
- 43% of Australian adults lie on a first date.
- 61% of British adults lie on a first date.
- 72% of British men lie on a first date.
- 42% of men confess they’ve lied about sex.
- 23% of women confess they’ve lied about sex.
- 10% of young adults have lied about STD testing.
Dishonesty about sex – even with a partner is common. A lack of transparency about sex is even more common.
Common areas of dishonesty include:
- Underreporting stigmatized activities.
- Overreporting the normative behaviours.
- When asked who is making sexual decisions
- Women report fewer nonmarital sexual partners
- Men report excessive nonmarital sexual partners
HONESTY IN SEX.
Honesty in sex is important when:
- Change in libido.
- Desire to try something new.
- Family planning.
- Feelings of sexual rejection or always having to initiate sex.
- Lack of intimacy or need for more affection.
- Lack of sexual satisfaction.
- Sexual dysfunction.
HONESTY IN D/S.
‘’The point of this lesson is that if you want to be in a Successful D/s Relationship, you need to treat HONESTY as SACRED’’
‘’Honesty within a D/s relationship is by far one of the most important aspects of the relationship. At all times, both the Dominant and the slave/submissive must be honest. A falsehood can be extremely detrimental to the level of trust.’’
’’It is especially important to understand that the slave/ submissive needs to be open and forthright with her Dominant. Failing to convey emotions, feelings, frustrations, hurts and concerns can result in a Dominant misunderstanding the true nature of a girl’s needs.’’
- In D/s it is essential to be
- With yourself.
- With your partners.
- With your bottom.
- With your top.
WHEN WE ARE TRUTHFUL AND TRANSPARENT, WE ARE:
- Less likely to be damaged emotionally.
- Less likely to be damaged psychologically.
- Less likely to be damaged physiologically.
- More likely to find happiness.
TIPS FOR BEING HONEST.
Start by being brutally honest with yourself.
And with others …
- Start early
- Start slowly.
- Talk often.
- Establish intimacy.
- Pick a neutral location.
- Avoid post-sex talks.
- Avoid blindsiding your partner.
- Express yourself clearly.
- Open-up about your fantasies.
- Avoid un-necessary surprises.
- Avoid email wherever possible.