KINK – A WORD THAT DEVALUES A LEGITIMATE LIFESTYLE?
My slave hates the word ‘’kink’’. She is also uncomfortable with the word ‘’scene’’, at least in so far as it is used to describe a sexual encounter. I am less concerned with the use of either word but appreciate the point she has made. That point I will address in the words that follow.
By way of context – my slave takes my ownership of her very seriously. She takes even more seriously her responsibility to meet my needs, no matter what they might be. She considers our lifestyle other than vanilla but does not consider it abnormal or an aberration. It is simply our chosen lifestyle. It is on this basis that she hates the word ‘’kink’’.
The Oxford dictionary defines the word ‘’kink’’ as follows – ‘’a sharp twist or curve in something that is otherwise straight.’’ While my slave recognises that a vanilla lifestyle and sexual tastes are significantly less significant than a vanilla lifestyle, she argues that it is not a ‘’sharp twist or curve’’. She believes that our lifestyle and sex life are the right ones for us and, therefore, completely normal, at least insofar as we are concerned. She feels that using the word ‘’kink’’ to describe our sexual activities devalues our lifestyle.
To quote her. ‘’My lifestyle and our activities are as valid as any others.’’
My slave also maintains that the word ‘’kink’’ has very negative connotations. It suggests an abnormality or that she is behaving abnormally – when all she is doing is living her life her way (or perhaps – my way). She believes that the word ‘’kink’’ has a negative connotation in many quarters – and that she sees nothing negative or ‘’grimy’’ about how we live our lives.
While I do not have concerns about any use of language and have no regard for efforts to make language more politically correct, I do see her point. I also take the view that while many people, including us, might consider our activities – ‘’different’’ from the ‘’regular’’, research suggests that BDSM or D/s thoughts and activities are FAR more common than many think and may, in fact, be anything but a ‘’sharp twist or curve’’.
The fact is, most human beings like to think that they are, in some respect, exceptional or different from the norm when the science shows quite conclusively – that people differ little. We are, most of us, much less exceptional than we think.
My slave is even more strident than me in her dislike of games. Further, she believes that sexual contact is cheapened when described as a ‘’scene.’’ She suggested that it would be uncommon to describe a heterosexual couple going to bed and having intercourse – to be said to be involved in a ‘’scene’’. On that basis – she asks why our sexual activities are described as a ‘’scene’’ rather than simple ‘’sexual activity.’’ She sees nothing special that might give our sexual activities a ‘’scene’’.
Slave l again argues that the word ‘’scene’’ devalues our lifestyle. In her view – we are simply living life our way, while others live life their way. There is nothing special about our 24/7 D/s relationship and the activities we indulge in. She argues that it is not a game or the act of a movie as suggested by the word ‘’scene’’. As I say, for her, we live an entirely legitimate lifestyle that involves a range of sexual activity, but nothing as transitory as a scene.
Again, I do not hold strong views regarding the word ‘’scene’’. I will say that firstly, we are not and never will play games, and secondly, we are not acting. Authenticity and truly living our lives our way is important to us.
Again, I make the point that I am not a fan of managing the language we use. I do, however, value the opinion of my slave on this issue, welcome the fact that she is so strident about authenticity and wanted to ensure her views saw the light of day.
I really appreciate that she does not think we are special. We are just two people trying to live our lives our way. In my view – there are few things more important.
What say you?
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