LET’S EXPLODE THE MYTHS ABOUT SEX – BDSM and D/s.

  • April 6, 2022
  • SIR D

Unfortunately, there are still an alarming number of people who think their sexual tastes make them abnormal. Perhaps the best way to dispel these feelings of abnormality is to present some facts.

Here are what some of the many surveys suggest.

SURVEY 1 – THE NEED FOR ADVENTURE

  • 44% of women are happy with their level of adventure.
  • 33% of men were happy with their level of adventure.
  • 2% did not want any more adventure.

SURVEY 2 – BDSM

  • 64.6% of women report having fantasies of being dominated sexually.
  • 53.3% of men report having sexual fantasies about being dominated sexually.
  • 46.7% of women report fantasies about being dominating sexually.
  • 59.6% of men report fantasies about being dominating sexually.
  • 11% of men report having tried bondage.
  • 17% of women report having tried bondage.
  • 36% of adults in the US use masks, blindfolds, and bondage tools.
  • 20% of adults report using masks, blindfolds, and bondage tools.
  • 85% of adults have reported engaging in some form of BDSM.

SURVEY 3 – SEXUAL FANTASIES

  • 82% of women & 82% of men enjoy sex in ’unusual places.’
  • 37% of women & 84.5% of men enjoy sex with two people at once.
  • 42% of women & 82% of men enjoy watching two women have sex.
  • 49% of women & 72.5% of men enjoy having sex with a stranger.
  • 52% of women & 46% of men enjoy being tied up
  • 32.5% of women & 64% of men enjoy anal sex.
  • 25% of women & 75% of men enjoy having sex with three people.
  • 32% of women & 63% of men like watching a stranger undress.
  • 56.5% of women & 16% of men like sex with both genders at once.
  • 32% of women & 44% of men enjoy being photographed or filmed during sex:
  • 41% of women & 29% of men enjoy being ejaculated on by a partner.
  • 18% of women & 57% of men enjoy having sex with someone much younger: 
  • 24% of women & 43.5% of men enjoy spanking or whipping someone for pleasure.
  • 36% of women & 28.5% of men enjoy being spanked or whipped. 
  • 29% of women & 3% of men enjoy being forced to have sex.
  • 26% of women & 28% of men enjoy having sex with a fetish or non-sexual object: 

SURVEY 4 – ATTIRE AND BODY PARTS ENJOYED IN SEXUAL ACTIVITY

  • Latex – 12.4%
  • Leather – 14.7%
  • Lingerie – 71.7%
  • Shoes – 9.7%
  • Nylon – 29.5%
  • Piercing – 7.8%
  • Furry costumes – 3.0%
  • Breasts – 65.5%
  • Buttocks – 64.5%
  • Feet – 9.7%

SURVEY 5 – FETISHES

SURVEY 6 – FETISHES

  • BDSM fetish – 74%
  • Multiple fetishes – 28%.
  • Act out fetishes weekly – 45%.
  • Preference for a fetish with a partner – 90%.

SURVEY 7 – FETISHES

  • 36% of people have a specific kink or fetish
  • 27% of people in a relationship have a secret sex act they want to try but haven’t
  • 49% of people frequently use sex toys
  • 51% of people who admitted to having a particular fetish said that it takes at least a month – and often longer – for them to feel brave enough about telling a partner.

There are hundreds of surveys addressing sexual tastes and experiences. While the statistics vary somewhat – the overall finding is that sexual fantasies, fetishes. and kinks are more common than many think.

One study found that the 10 most common fantasies are:

  1. BDSM.
  2. General fetishes (whatever that means)
  3. Body fluids.
  4. Voyeurism.
  5. Exhibitionism.
  6. Age play.
  7. Furries.
  8. Gender play.
  9. Cuckolding.
  10. Food and sex.

Another study found that the top 10 kinks or fantasies among women are:

  1. Sex outdoors
  2. Blindfolded sex
  3. Body piercings
  4. Role play
  5. Dressing up/sexy costumes
  6. Filming each other having sex (DIY porn)
  7. Domination/submission
  8. Food play
  9. Spanking and whips
  10. Tying up

The top 10 kinks or fantasies among men were found to be:

  1. DIY porn
  2. Role play – specifically with uniforms
  3. Bondage – spanking and whips
  4. Sex outdoors
  5. Threesomes
  6. Rubber/latex and leather
  7. Domination/submission
  8. Body piercings
  9. Food play
  10. Blindfolded sex

Important to remember about these statistics are the following:

  • Cultural variances are common.
  • Self-reporting encourages under-reporting.
  • Tastes may vary over time – often impacted by media.

Important conclusions to draw from these surveys are:

  • Sexual fantasies are common.
  • Few people have no sexual fantasies, and more than a quarter have more than one.
  • There are more fantasies that there is the courage to act them out.

After reading all of this, we should all conclude that ‘normal’ is a stupid and unscientific concept.

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