• April 28, 2022
  • SIR D

 Every now and then, the death of a close loved one reminds us that life is short and tomorrow is promised to no one. The wise among us are also reminded that while we ALL die, many fail to live. I have always held the view that we owe it to ourselves to:

  • LIVE our lives, making the absolute most of the time we have.
  • Live our own life – rather than the one other people think or suggest we live.

There is, after all, only one life we can live optimally – and that is our own life. Living the lives according to the expectations of others will never be fulfilling and will almost always lead to regrets.
Research suggests that most adult human beings have regrets. The 4 most common types of regrets are:

  • Foundational
  • Risk
  • Moral
  • Connection

Nothing weighs a human being down more than regrets, especially for things not done. Research has also found that regrets have two outstanding features:

  • Regrets relating to things not done are many times more damaging than regrets for things done.
  • Nothing weighs a human being down more than regrets, especially for things not done.

As such, it only makes sense to do what you can to eliminate the potential for regrets and especially regrets for things not done. A life without regrets has a great deal more chance to be a happy life. We avoid regrets and especially regrets related to not doing things, not by thinking, wishing, dreaming, or hoping. There is only one way to minimise our regrets – and that is to act – do the things you want to do and do them with all the passion at your disposal.
For most readers of this missive, it is too late to do much about your foundational regrets. You cannot now change those things which made you what you are. You cannot change the past, but you can certainly change the future – or at the very least – your future. You can make a decision now to:

  • Take risks – and do those things you have always wanted to do.
  • Pursue charter – consistently behaving in line with your values.
  • Develop all the connections you can and take all the value from them that you can.

If you want to get involved in D/s, convert your relationship into a D/s relationship or pursue any other sexual taste, experience, or relationship type – DO IT NOW! Put the risks into perspective. You will almost certainly regret not doing something than doing it.
If you are not constantly in pursuit of a more moral existence, then you are, in my view, a lesser human being. In this context, moral behaviour almost certainly involves taking risks – but – always ensuring consent, respecting limits, and never behaving towards another in a way they will find hurtful or distressing. Contrary to the bizarre teachings of the equally bizarre religions of the world – there is no evidence to suggest that there is anything immoral about sexual pleasure.
There are three factors that largely determine life expectancy. In order of importance – from most important to least importance – they are:

  • Connection
  • Lifestyle
  • Genetics

While lifestyle factors like – diet, exercise, smoking, alcohol consumption etc are very important, they are nowhere near as important as connection. While most people seem to think it is all about genetics, genetics is MUCH less important than either lifestyle or connection. The facts are:

  • People in relationships live longer.
  • People with networks live longer.
  • Lonely people die earlier.

So, get out there and get involved in the community – D/s or otherwise. The style of community matters not at all. Join Life’s Hierarchy, get involved in FET, go to clubs and events with people of similar interest and generally connect with communities with which you have things in common.
In short – avoid regrets, forget what others think, live your life your way. The mantra of Life’s Hierarchy is indeed – LIVE YOUR LIFE YOUR WAY. 
 SIR D  Email your thoughts regarding this article to –
Thank you. 

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