• May 26, 2022
  • SIR D

Maintaining any relationship is complicated. Maintaining a long-distance D/s or power exchange relationship can be a whole lot harder. In this missive, I examine strategies for maintaining a long-distance power exchange relationship, as discussed in the Life’s Hierarchy online DISCUSSION that took place on February 22, 2022. You can listen to the recording by visiting https://www.crowdcast.io/e/fz3e07sz.


There are two elements to defining a long-distance power exchange relationship:

  • A long-distance relationship.
  • A power exchange relationship.

There are many types of long-distance relationships:

  • Synchronicity or a-synchronicity 
  • Singular or plural.
  • Partner aware or partner not aware.
  • Online only or online and offline.

 There are also various types of D/s or power exchange relationships:

  • Casual vs 24/7
  • Live in vs live-out
  • Partial vs total
  • Sex vs no sex

Each type of relationship has its own challenges and combining long-distance and power exchange create its own additional challenges. Three things are clear:

  • No two relationships are ever the same 
  • There is no ‘one-way’ to conduct an LDPER
  • More complicated than many other relationship forms

Before discussing these challenges, it makes sense to highlight the attractions of such relationships.


The attraction of long-distance power exchange relationships will vary by individual. However, they tend to include one or more of the following:

  • Having a relationship when being together is not possible.
  • More time to pursue other passions and interests.
  • The opportunity to get to know each other.
  • Reduced likelihood of confusing lust and love.
  • The capacity to road test trust and develop patience.
  • Addressing needs not met in an existing relationship.
  • Providing time to focus on other relationships.
  • Encourages creativity, communication and conflict resolution.
  • Excitement.
  • Less stressful commitment.
  • Spending time.
  • Integration with the day. 


Each relationship will have its own challenges, and each individual may have their own issues. Common issues in a long-distance-relationships, however, might relate to:

  • Inconsistent goals.
  • Poor communication.
  • Variable trust. 
  • Lack of intimacy.
  • Lack of physical contact.
  • Sexual incompatibility.
  • Negative impact on self-esteem.
  • Family issues.
  • More frequent disputes. 
  • More difficult to resolve disputes
  • Less fun together.
  • Falling into a routine.
  • Limited potential to grow.

Common issues in a long-distance D/s relationship might also involve: 

  • Morality (when other partners are not aware)
  • Management (when the relationship supplements another)
  • Supervision and enforcement.
  • Punishment.
  • Physical contact


Everyone and every relationship must find its own pathway to success. Strategies that have worked for many couples include the following:

  • Set up dedicated email and social media accounts.
  • Monitor these email and social media accounts.
  • Ensure a good understanding of each other’s circumstances.
  • Schedule regular contact and stick to the schedule.
  • Ensure regular face time.
  • Ensure total transparency and openness. 
  • Catch up in real life from time to time. 
  • Regularly check how each other is feeling.
  • Ensure a safe place to communicate.
  • Document rules and protocols.
  • Remember the basics of aftercare.
  • Get creative and think outside of the box.
  • Plan each contact in advance.

It is also helpful to make the most of technologies like:

  • Video conferencing.
  • Eye in the sky (or home at least).
  • Facetime.
  • Tracking apps.
  • Private texting.

It also helps to get creative, perhaps embracing the following:

  • A chastity device can be fun.
  • A locked collar can help.
  • Setting regular tasks can be testing.
  • Set un-usual grooming requirements.
  • Detailed regular reporting.
  • Innovative online sex.

A long-distance relationship is not my thing, but I can understand that they are necessary, fun and enticing for many people.

Hopefully, this missive provides some ideas about how to make such relationships successful. 
To find out a great deal more – I would env=courage you to watch this recording on the original Life’s Hierarchy DISCUSSION – https://www.crowdcast.io/e/fz3e07sz.  

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