Non Verbal Communication – Hand Signals

  • May 5, 2022
  • Mestra
4 different hand signals, an OK signal, fingers crossed, thumbs up and open hand.

The use of hand signals in a D/s dynamic can be a beautiful thing. Being able to quietly signal to a submissive a need or want without disturbing the conversation is elegant.

Having a submissive being discrete and unnoticeable, but attentive to your immediate hand signal/gesture is also delightful, efficient, functional and requires practice and training.

Hand signals can be used for a variety of purposes and is limited only by your imagination. Some examples include get me a drink, top up my drink, don’t top up my drink, get another type of drink, prepare a meal, get my play bag, sit at my feet, serve another Mistress/Master, bend over, prepare for inspection, remove your clothes, suck/lick, prepare to play/receive/give, you’ve made a mistake, wait patiently, stay, come here and well done. Hand signals can be based on official Sign Language, or common use signals (like come here), pet training commands (eg stay), or can be creative and unique. They can be bold and big, discrete and subtle, and the use of both can indicate urgency. I finger dropped to the side of the body could indicate kneel next to me. The same motion with force and speed indicates KNEEL, NEXT TO ME, NOW!

The opportunity to develop a system of hand signals is a process I enjoy as a Dominant. I like the ability to select the types of commands I’d like to be able to use, and the framework that suits me best to do so.

In my experience, many s types enjoy the process of learning the various hand signals that have been set for them. For some it’s part of elegant and functional communication and service. For others it may takes them into a tightly focused, totally blissed-out headspace. There’s an intimacy in the shared, somewhat secret communication and it’s a wonderful feeling of pride to have an s type accurately follow the discrete commands (and for them to feel the pride of having done so successfully).

Submissives will vary in their ability to remember hand signals and non verbal cues/commands. While this can provide a delightful opportunity for correction or funishment, keep in mind different learning speeds and styles. The tasks need to be set within the submissives physical, emotional and psychological capabilities.

Hand signals may lead to slave positions which is related, but a slightly different topic we’ll cover separately.

As always communication is key. There are lots of resources online to give you more information and additional ideas. Have fun with it!

xx Mestra

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