PUNISHMENT IN A D/s RELATIONSHIP– WHAT – WHEN – WHY?
I have a slave, and she lives by the rules and protocols I have laid out for her. Further, concerning these rules and protocols, she has two choices – obey, and life is sweet or disobey and be punished. Of course, the approach to discipline, the use of punishment and the form punishment takes – along with the motive varies from relationship to relationship. No two D/s relationships are the same. This blog outlines my approach.
In my household, punishment usually takes the form of a caning on the behind. It is designed to cause pain and always succeeds in doing so.
With mild behaviour infractions, a warning might be given, but there are never more than three warnings. A telling off is sometimes all that is required, and on other occasions, she might spend time in the corner, But in most cases, it is directly to the cane.
With my approach, the use of punishment started during slave training and will continue for the duration of our relationship. The downside for my slave is that it hurts and leaves a painful mark. The upside of punishment for my slave is that once it is administered, the matter is closed without further discussion or mention. There is no residual anger, disappointment, or frustration evident.
My slave has embraced the concept of rules, obedience, and punishment, and discussed the merits of this lifestyle openly with her friends and me. She not only accepts it, but she embraces it. She recognises that it has made her a more disciplined person and created patterns of behaviour that meet both of our expectations.
Slave l was trained for 18 months before she was collared. During that time, she may have been caned 20 times – often for the smallest infractions. In the 18 months since her collaring she has been caned perhaps three times – a clear demonstration of an improvement in her behaviour.
In my view punishment is a natural part of a Master-slave relationship and central to Master-slave training. In my experience, it is useful in helping to mould the slave into the property she needs to be. That said, I am not a sadist and do not punish my slave for my entertainment. Further, she is not a masochist – working hard to avoid the cane. She likes it to remain behind the door. I see no value in pain for the sake of it and do not believe in maintenance beatings – although many do.
Where punishment is required, I follow a transparent process. The slave is told what she has done wrong and needs to accept my judgment. She is then told the consequences before the punishment being administered. After the administration of the discipline, she receives a long hug before having a moment to reflect on what has occurred and why. Everything then returns to ‘normal’.
A slave must live by rules, and it is the Owner